Day 16 – Not So Sweet

This one is not for the male readers. Read if you wish, but don't say you weren't warned...

So today may have been my WORST. PERIOD. EVER! I woke up with cramps and quickly realized there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it. The only thing that actually works for my cramps is Aleve, which is an NSAID, which is a big no-no on W30. I went for a super-hot shower to try to relax some muscles. I got ready for work and I left. There was no way I could take a sick day as it happened to be the first day of pre-scheduled, one-on-one training at work. This has been planned out for weeks and I could not miss it. I threw an apple in my purse and left for work.

When I was a teen, cramps were brutal and at that time, naproxen could only be obtained with a prescription in Canada. One doctor suggested my periods would be lighter with birth control once I was in my early twenties so I tried some out over the years but while some brands did help alleviate the cramps, I never felt quite like myself. Then a few years ago I started the HCG diet for the first time so I stopped taking birth control at that time, and never looked back. If you aren't aware, HCG is a hormone that is primarily used for fertility. This makes the pill redundant, so why waste the money and fill my body up with more hormones than are necessary? Even then I was aware of excess and manufactured hormones in my body. I always planned to keep doing rounds of HCG (6 weeks on, 6 weeks off) until I reached my goal weight so I never went back on the pill and here we are today. I don't recall my cramps being this bad ever, let alone since quitting birth control. Maybe I just don't remember. Maybe I rely on Aleve more than I realize. Or maybe this is a by-product of the hormones refreshing and realigning.

I didn't really have breakfast. I stopped again at the café in my office building and grabbed a black coffee and boiled eggs. I get up to the office and out my things down. I filled my water bottle and went back to my desk. I was trying to focus on prioritizing and getting caught up before training which starts at noon. My cramps suddenly came on like a freight train plowed into my gut. I try to drink some coffee in hopes the hot liquid will help alleviate some cramping. It suddenly felt hot in my normally cool office, but realized it's just me and I started sweating. I work more but then nausea kicks in. Not sure if I am going to vomit or not, I go to the bathroom. Nothing. The feeling subsides and I go back to work. I gulp down some water and start working away. I get though some more tasks and take some bites of my apple and it sits heavy. Suddenly my mouth goes dry and I have the overwhelming urge to barf again. I go to the washroom, and… nothing. It subsides. All the while, the cramps are getting worse and worse. I look in the mirror and notice I am completely devoid of any colour in my usually rosy, face.

On my way back to my desk I get a smile from my colleague Heather, and I get an idea. She always has a magic bag in her desk and she is always happy to share. It is made for sitting nicely on your shoulders but I can make it work for cramps. I politely ask her for it and without hesitation she hands it over. I heated it up and went back to my desk and place the magic bag over my lower abdomen. I start to relax. Then the dry mouth, nausea, and sweats are back. I try to push through since the last two times were false alarms but the urge to vomit gets worse – it's not subsiding! I bolt to the washroom and… nothing! I start to really think that I am not going to make it through the day and start dreading having to tell my boss I need to mess up the training schedule and go home. I then start to wonder if this is worth it for Whole30. To be in pain to the point of near vomiting and not being able to do anything about it. I imagine what I would write in my blog to all of you, that I would keep eating Whole30 for the would-be remaining days, even though I couldn't officially say I did a W30 thanks to a naproxen tablet. It started to sound like a good spin on an otherwise crappy situation.

And then something changed after I ate my boiled eggs. I decided I didn't want to be the victim and I didn't want to make any more excuses in life. I wanted to power through this and write this post that you are reading now. I remembered the quote from the Whole30 website "Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You've done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It's only thirty days, and it's for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime." And I decided I needed to push through this. This is just one day that really sucks, that really hurts, but I am not in chemo. I am not in labour (I definitely will need to endure that one day, so this is nothing in comparison). I have cramps, and they suck, but I can do this. And suddenly I remembered what used to help me before naproxen, when I was a teen who had horrible cramps and did not have a doctor to talk prescribe me pain meds – I drank raspberry tea. I am not sure why it works, but it does and it did today. Heather was my hero two-fold since she provided me the tea as well as the magic bag and I sat at my desk with both and worked away as the relief poured over me. 

Fresh air was the nail in my cramps' coffin as I stepped out to grab chicken and veg from Urban Fare and a Larabar. I got back to work and made it through training. I could not be happier to be going home. I put my PJs on immediately and made steaks for and iron boost, mushrooms and zucchini on the side.

Today I had just one craving – all day long - this chocolate dairy-free "frozen desert". But I figure, if I can power through the cramps and things I felt today just to stick with this Whole30, I am sure as hell not giving in to dessert.

Day 15 – Halfway!!

I am halfway done my first Whole30 today.

I feel great. My energy is up, my focus and concentration is better, I am developing good habits, and I am genuinely enjoying it all.

I am starting to wonder when my skin will clear up though. It was starting to and the bam! Breakout! The messed up part is I never got acne until I was about 24. Now I get it when I eat poorly, and hormonally, like that time of the month, which is starting now. It takes more than 2 weeks to fix your hormones though, which is why this is the Whole30, not the Whole15.

Between being away overnight and then having company, I did not get a chance to make pre-made breakfasts for the week. I chopped some lettuce, tomatoes, shallots, and chicken breast from the last of the three chickens, for Sean’s salad, then I ate a banana as I threw leftovers from the salmon dish and some leftover yams in my lunch bag, then went to work. I stopped in that little café in our lobby for a black coffee and boiled eggs and headed up to the office. The morning went by fast and before I knew it, it was lunch time. I actually stepped away from my desk o eat lunch in our lunchroom. I heated my leftovers and enjoyed the salmon dish, round 2. All in all, the day was uneventful, and my meals weren’t all that exciting.

Even dinner wasn’t amazing, or worth bogging about. We finished off the last of the three roast chickens, which a seasoned with an Herbs de Provence blend from Whole Foods (it has no additives). I made a sided of brussel sprouts for me, and a side of broccoli for Sean since he hates brussel sprouts. We ate dinner and I caught up on my blog. This might have been the most uneventful day since starting W30.

There is a part on the timeline called “Days 12-15: Boundless energy! Now give me a damn Twinkie” that talks about cravings being the most intense around the middle and let me tell you, I have that going on. I ate almonds and could almost taste the Hershey chocolate that I wished they were coated in. I wanted marshmallows yesterday and something like a Mars bar today. I have craved toast, Kraft Smooth Peanut Butter, Justin’s Nut Butters, and cake! I can’t remember all my cravings but I remember thinking they are random or funny – and so realistic, like I can smell it, or almost taste it. Can I please just have one bowl of gluten-free puffin cereal?

A highlight today was being asked if I have lost weight - but not because of anything to do with my weight, because I could confidently say “I have no idea… but thank you!” and genuinely not care. I realize that the Whole30 is genuinely not about losing weight, numbers, scales, inches, unrealistic beauty standards, or anything superficial. This is about getting healthy and being healthy and about how I feel. And I feel damn good!

I have known for a long time that if I was ever going to be successful in losing weight, I would need to adopt an outlook about being healthy, not skinny. But no matter how much I preached it, wrote it, said it, or thought I believed it, I didn’t. I fantasized about being able to slip into item of clothing and have it drape off me and look good like on a model. And when I “came to terms” with the likelihood that I may never be that thin, I ate whatever I wanted and pretended to be proud of my curvy body. But this was just a disguise to acknowledge that my waistline was increasing while at the same time, hide my contempt for it. This Whole30 and ISWF has changed all of that mentality. I just want to nourish my body, because I love my body – it’s the only one I have. How it looks will be reflective of how I feel and if I keep eating this way, I can only feel better and better.

I can’t believe we are halfway to the “end”. I feel like there is still so much to learn. I still have over half the book to read, but at the same time, I already have learned a lot and I am really enjoying the program. I have already decided there will be more Whole30’s in my future. Once I have read the whole book and understand fully the whys and whats, it can only get better.

Days 13 & 14 - 2nd Weekend

This weekend I spent a night away from home and then had company.

On Saturday I got up early because I had very special plans – babysitting my one year old nephew!  I had made Scotch Eggs the night before so I heated up two in the oven while I got ready. These were easy to make, easy to reheat, good cold, and a good breakfast on the go. Oh and so so yummy!

I planned to take the Greyhound bus and stay the night in Abbotsford so I had transferred all my purse stuff to my backpack, just as the city bus arrived and I suddenly doubted that I put my bus pass in my backpack too and I couldn’t find it so I missed the bus and cabbed to the Greyhound bus station. I checked the bus schedule and had I waiting for the next one, I would have missed the Greyhound one so I called a cab. Because of this, I had some time so I grabbed a coffee, which I promptly spilled on the bus as I was getting settled. I put my stuff down on the seat and bolted to the bathroom at the back and pulled the door. I pulled and pulled and it wouldn’t budge! So I pushed and the door flew open and crashed loudly into the toilet seat. I propped it open with my foot and frantically looked for paper towel – no dice! I grabbed toilet paper and it was that super cheap kind that rips after every square or two. I grabbed as much as I could and sopped up my mess just as the bus was pulling out. Phew! What an ordeal, typical me.

After I finally got settled, I read some ISWF on my Kindle. I am not skipping over the chapters about why we eat the way we eat (an option they give at the start) and I find it all so very interesting. This book has really made me re-think about how I think about food. But they didn’t over complicate it. I have always know that I could achieve better health if I could just arm myself with the knowledge of a nutritionist, but every time I tried to read articles and/or books, I would find it overwhelming or dry or just too much information to cram into my brain.  The way ISWF is written is down to earth, easy to understand, and quite humorous and entertaining as well. It’s a good read in its own right and I can’t wait to read more of it. If you have not read it yet, please consider I as it can only add to and enhance the whole Whole30 experience.

I arrived in Abby, and my sister tells me she has to go to a kid’s birthday party and I was welcome to join. I could have stayed at her place and caught up on my blog, but I wanted to see my nephew as much as possible and it was lots of fun! It was a rec centre gym, rented out with gym activities for kids (scooters, parachute, etc) and bouncy castles. I was hungry by the time I was done running around with my nephew but disappointed when I suddenly remembered kid party food of my era. But then I was all the more happy to see a fruit platter and veggie tray rather than chips and candy. Kids had to eat veggies if they wanted cake! Go moms!!!

My sister was nice enough to take me grocery shopping while nephew napped. I picked out some foods for dinner and breakfast on Sunday. We got to my sister’s and she gave me the rundown and her and her husband left. I fed my nephew per my sister’s directions and he signed that he was done just as I started cooking. I let him out of his chair to go play with toys but he wanted me to come too. I followed him and took out some toys to distract and ran back to the kitchen to finish chopping my yams. I pan fried chicken breasts in olive oil and seasonings, boiled the yam cubes with brussel sprouts in the steamer above. All in all my first meal cooked with a baby afoot was pretty good!! 

My nephew and I played with toys and had a dance party in his bedroom before evening bottle/snuggle time and going to bed. We got up on Sunday, and I made myself boiled eggs instead of fried since they only had margarine, with Yashbrowns. Mandi and Jeremy like the term yashbrowns. We all played with my nephew some more, then I packed up my backpack and went home on the bus. I had such a fun weekend and it felt really good to not have to be worried about leaving my house and having compliant food.

When I got home, I had 2 Scotch Eggs for lunch and some leftover Simple Salad. Sean and I cleaned up in prep for company since we had invited Sean’s twin, Scott and his friend Christine over for a visit. I was feeling confident that I could make something Whole30 compliant that everyone would enjoy. I went with Salmon and Asparagus with a lemon, caper dressing. It turned out fantastic. I will make this again, W30 or not. We all played a game and visited but it was a work night and eventually bedtime came.

Overall I had a great weekend, stuck to my Whole30 despite being out and having people over, and went to bed feeling great.

Day 12 - So Much Chicken

It was so hard to get out of bed this morning.

I attribute this to having the early shift at work on Fridays more than to the Whole30 though. One person has to be at the office by 6:30 am every day to accommodate our Eastern Clients, so we rotate the shift among my team and on Fridays, that person is me. I chose Friday because being off at 3:00 pm is nice. But being off at 3:00 pm on a Friday is fantastic!

Since it was so hard to wake up, I scrambled to get ready and get out of the house and I did not pack food today. I figured it would be a good opportunity to see how easy it is to eat out in a pinch on Whole30.

I wouldn't call my breakfast successful or technically compliant. Not in the sense that I will have to start over. The food that I did eat wasn't against the rules, but I did not eat enough food, or any protein for that matter. In the book "It Starts with Food," they describe how this teaches your body to store fat, when done regularly, as it does not know when the next nourishment might come.

I got to work just on time and did not have time to go out for food - not that there is much open at 6:30 am either. I had an apple on my desk when I arrived at work. I brought it a day or two ago and never ended up eating it. I thought it would at least tie me over until a relief person arrived and I could step out.

This is the portion of food you get for $8 - $10!

Work got crazy and before I knew it, it was 10:30! Since I take my lunch around 11:00 or 12:00 on my early day, decided to just power through and I grabbed a Cashew Larabar out of my drawer. I keep them in there for just this type of scenario. I have mentioned these before, but if you don’t know, Larabars are fine if all the ingredients are W30 compliant AND you do not eat them to satisfy your sweet tooth. That is a habit we are working to break with W30.

I went out at 11:00 am in search of a Whole30 lunch. I ended up at the usual Urban Fare hot bar as it was pouring rain and that is the closest place to work that I trust. I want to clarify that I only have roast chicken if I make it myself, or if it is from somewhere like urban Fare or Whole Foods, were I can be sure it’s good quality and that I can ask how it’s prepared. I would not trust just any place to make a roast chicken that is compliant.

Lunch was chosen without much forethought because when I got home I remembered we still have Duey and Louie, 2 of the 3 previously bought chickens, in the fridge! I quickly pull out the bag to check the date. Sure enough the best before date is tomorrow! I season them both differently and throw them in the roasting pan together. I figured I could prong the life of the bird if I cooked it to reincarnate it into leftovers, versus spoiling raw meat. We had the one that I seasoned with paprika, garlic powder, S&P and olive oil tonight. I made a big homemade salad also. This dinner made me crave summer sun and fun for some reason. It was a gooder.

Sean and I went for a short walk to check out a carnival hat suddenly appeared in the mall parking lot across the street. We walked over, walked around the carnival, and walked home. It looked like it could have been fun but neither of us brought cash for ride tickets and the only other attraction was mini-doughnuts and cotton candy. Off home we went. Plus I have an early, busy Saturday planned…